I don't know. Woke up feeling like I didn't want to wake up and still am not awake 12 hours later. It didn't help that I read Tim Eyman is suddenly going for revenge.
Since he knows he has a snowball's chance in hell of repealing the gas tax (since it makes sense, buys lots of roads east of the mountains, and everyone now understands how bad the gridlock is), he's going after the one stable tax the state has: property. Four years ago, Eyman argued that the tax structure was whacked -- car tab revenues went to the general fund, timber sales funded schools, property taxes pretty much went everywhere but schools -- and rode a neo-Prop 13 crest to victory. Now, after years of cutbacks and tax cuts, the people of the state are finally realizing that you can't keep cutting revenue AND increasing targeted expenditures without turning into Alabama or Oregon. And, still, here comes Eyman with his bad math and his "consultant's fee" to again push Washington a little further down the slope towards craptasticness.
What's rich is that I hear people complain about the leadership in Olympia -- and they still return the same state legislators every two years. The people of this state would rather be apathetic than really give a damn.
So, I'm considering running for governor. I'm tired of the lack of leadership in the governor's office and in the party offices. Here's my three point plan:
1. Shut down every state service. All of them. Universities? Closed. State highways? Jersey barriered. Basic Health? Don't get sick. Law enforcement? Do it yourself. Legislators? Go away. Ferries? Drydock.
2. Once everything is shut down, I will use the remaining money in the coffers to do the following:
a. Activate the National Guard. I mean, there has to be some order here.
b. Set up a toll-free 800 line for people to call and request a service be (re)provided by the state. My operator will inform them of the cost of the service and ask how they would like to pay for it. He will also remind them of the value in bulk discounts: if said person can convince the 5 million people of the state to all go in together on the service, it means it'll be that much cheaper!
I say "he" here because my operator will be Tim Eyman, who under the rules of war can be held without habeas corpus (remember the National Guard?) Oh, did I mention this would be a 24/7 hotline?
3. After the right amount of chaos has ensued, say, two weeks, all the requests are assembled, and we create a new tax plan, one that is fair, equitable, and reasonable. We do this by calling a constitutional convention and tearing up the idiot document we have overseeing this state. To ensure equity, we lock out any voter-approved initiatives from being filed for five years. We also make it that much tougher to file by banning paid signature gatherers, raising the minimum number of signatures to 25% of the state voting age population, and requiring a 3/5ths majority for raising or lowering taxes.
Once all this is accomplished, I will step down and get a real job.
Comments
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Very funny! Love your campaign platform. I've been starting to worry about impending craptasticness (great word, I'm stealing it) myself, thanks to state and fed attitudes of, "We're broke, so we'll reduce our income!" They've set an example by which the rest of us should request pay cuts on our jobs. Not too practical.
Posted by: Fran | June 9, 2003 11:03 AM
