The Rev. Hasty offered his Ten Worst Things In Sports. I think he needs to take some happy pills.
Originally, I was going to leave a comment on his blog, but it got to be so long I decided to post it here.
1. Major League Baseball.
He's dead to me for saying this, but I'll continue on anyway.
2. SportsCenter.
If you don't get Sportscenter, it's because you're not black enough. Olberman really needs to eat crow and go back to ESPN, because it's just not happening for him on whatever channel he's on now.
3. Interviews with athletes who have nothing to say.
Interviews were covered in Bull Durham.
Crash Davis: It's time to work on your interviews.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?
Crash Davis: You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: "We gotta play it one day at a time."
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Got to play... it's pretty boring.
Crash Davis: 'Course it's boring, that's the point. Write it down.
4. Olympics telecasts.
What they should do with the Olympics is bring back the Triplecast. Let those of us who want 100% sports drop $100 on three channels of 24/7 live Olympic sports. Everyone else gets the NBC prime time crap. And, while we're at it, add a fourth channel to the Triplecast that is "all soft focus profiles all the time!"
5. The NCAA's eligibility rules.
The NCAA needs to decide if they're in business to make money or to make sure the idea of the "student-athlete" is defended even if it costs money. It can't have both, despite the fact it wants both. There will always be auto dealers who let college players take a nine-month test drive in one of their sports cars. There will always be high-rollers willing to shuffle a few large to Grandma just to remind her which school her Flash of a RB grandson should commit to. There will also be hard-working, intellegent third-string defensive tackles who won't marry their girlfriends just so she can get food stamps and keep their baby from starving. It's time to decide, folks. Do you care more about maintaining the idea of the student-athlete than money, or would you rather admit that all these kids get of the billions you bring in from the TV networks is a $30,000 college education that they have to get while losing months of the year to travel and playoffs?
6. One-named Brazilian soccer players who aren't Pele.
Ronaldo deserves his name, despite his haircut. The other guys, it depends. We do the same with American football players. You know exactly who I'm talking about if I say BO or BOZ.
7. Quarterbacks who wear the number 7.
I sense some Elway envy. :)
8. Americans' relationship with the NBA.
Michael Jordan.
9. The credit given to drivers in NASCAR.
Yes, a good pit crew gives you an edge. So does a good design team. So does having a tactical mastermind as crew chief. But, in the end, someone has to drive that car around that narrow track through the incessant congestion in order to win the race. Just like football -- you can't win without someone who can run the offense, period. Yeah, it could be Trent Dilfer and the Ravens, but without him they never would have won that Lombardi.
10. Men's tennis and women's golf.
Women's golf hasn't been good since Nancy Lopez dropped off the map. Men's tennis could easily be improved by forcing the competitors to play with well-worn rackets from some urban Boy's Club.
In my next post, my list of the Ten Worst Things About Sports, because I like to make lists and check them twice.
Comments
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Hey, give me a little credit. I didn't even mention Jim Rome.
Posted by: Mark Hasty | August 31, 2003 08:04 PM
