It ain't over til it's over... or is it?

985 words written by dylan
Posted June 02, 2008 @ 05:55 PM
1 comments , 0 TrackBacks

I keep reading these Hillary commenters saying things like "Obama should quit for the good of the country because he can't beat McCain."

Every time I see something like that, I keep wondering how it would go if this wasn't politics but baseball. I can imagine an exchange during the American League Championship Series going something like this:

JOE BUCK:Welcome back to the ALCS on Fox. Top of the ninth now, last chance for the Yankees to get to the World Series, but they're down 12 runs to a Tampa Bay Rays team just three outs from a date with the Dodgers. Al Reyes is on the mound looking to get those outs. He'll be facing Alex Rodriguez, then Abreu, then Matsui.

TIM MCCARVER: You know, Joe, for the good of the American League, I think the Rays should concede this game.

JOE: Concede Game 7 of the ALCS when you're up 15-3? Why would anyone do that?

TIM: Look, the Yankees are a better matchup for the Dodgers. They have the history, they have the experience here.

JOE: Reyes deals 1-0 to ARod for a strike at the knees. Tim, this Rays team absolutely came out of nowhere and ran off that 11 game winning streak.

TIM: But that was back in July. What did they do during August and September? They didn't win a single game in September.

JOE: Reyes throws a curveball high, 2-1. They went 14-13 in September, Tim. I wouldn't call that winning a single game.

TIM: But they did it against teams that aren't in the playoffs -- the Orioles, the Blue Jays, the Tigers....

JOE: Since when is that relevant? I'll give you that the Yankees went 20-6 (as Reyes steps off the rubber) but that only allowed them to close in on the wild card. Then they swept that final series against the Red Sox....

TIM: Who are a much stronger team representing core fans of the American League! Hard working fans, white fans...

JOE: ARod slaps Reyes' 2-1 offering into left field for a base hit, and that will bring up... did you say white people?

TIM: Look, all I'm saying is that the last time we were in this situation was when the Yankees and Dodgers played in 1981, and we all remember what happened to Reagan that year...

JOE: He was shot?

TIM: You and the Red Sox-dominated media are so anti-Yankee! This Rays team can't hit in the clutch!

JOE: They've hit over .400 with runners in scoring position in this series. I'd say that's clutch.

TIM: And what do they have to go against the Dodgers? The Yankees are a seasoned team against the National League and their lack of a DH.

JOE: Now Abreu chops the first pitch to Longoria, and his only play is to throw across to Pena at first, so one out and ARod moves up to second. Tim, the Rays had a winning record this year in NL parks.

TIM: Doesn't that just prove they're not ready? This is a young team that lacks the veteran leadership of the Yankees. Players that have been in the playoffs. Players that are ready from Game 1.

JOE: This is a young Rays team, but they've hit well all year and their pitching has been something else down the stretch, Tim. And they came into the playoffs, surprisingly, with more wins than any other team in baseball.

TIM: Perhaps, but since August 15 what team has the best record in baseball? The Yankees, of course.

JOE: 162 games in a season, Tim, as Matusi pops it up to center as Upton comes in and squeezes it, two down, and now the fans here in Tropicana Stadium are making themselves known. A franchise that's long been the laughingstock of major league baseball is one out away from playing in the World Series.

TIM: These fans are kidding themselves.

JOE: Now Girardi calls back Cano and sends out Giambi to bat left and try to save the threadbare Yankees' hopes. I'm just going to ignore you, Tim, because you've lost it.

TIM: These fans only believe in the Rays because it's a fairy tale! Oh, the Rays will save us all! When will they get real and wake up to reality?

JOE: Fastball outside corner for a strike.

TIM: The Yankees scored more runs this year than the Rays.

JOE: You're counting rained out games, Tim. Curveball a little low as the fans groan, 1-1.

TIM: And let's think about it. This team used to be the Devil Rays. Bunch of satanists who are just hiding the truth. What else are they hiding? I bet some of them are on 'roids. I just know it.

JOE: BIG swing and a miss by Giambi at a nasty curveball, 1-2. Why Girardi is running out Giambi in this case is questionable, since he's had only two hits in the playoffs. In tomorrow's New York papers will the writers be going on about how poorly the Yankees have been managed all year?

TIM: Have I talked about Carl Crawford's childhood pastor?

JOE: Please don't, as Reyes delivers a ball and ARod scampers for third. They'll rule that indifference, but considering this game has been over since Pena's grand slam in the first, you could rule this entire game as indifference.

TIM: Look, the truth is that the Yankees outdrew the Devil Rays in attendance, and that's all that matters.

JOE: STRIKE THREE CALLED AS GIAMBI WATCHES IT GO BY, AND THE TAMPA BAY RAYS, THE WORST TEAM IN BASEBALL IN 2007, ARE ON THEIR WAY TO THEIR FIRST EVER WORLD SERIES IN 2008!

TIM: I don't think so. Clearly, the Yankees won today, and they'll be in Los Angeles on October 22 ready to deliver the World Series to the American League.

JOE: Stuff a sock in it, Tim.

TIM: LOS ANGELES! LOS ANGELES!

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Comments

  1. When you have to go against an All-Star Relief Pitcher at 3 am, in extra innings of a double-header, who do you want to pick up the bat?

    Posted by: Chris | June 3, 2008 06:17 AM

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